R. Kelly - Trapped In The Closet Part 9

I realise that was absolutely fucking horrible of me to post all that, so here's some light relief, the timeless classic from the innocent-until-proven-guilty apparently NOT paedophile rapist's "hip hopera". Can anyone deny the utter genius of this?

Phil Collins - Another day in paradise

And the story about him evicting a bunch of travellers from his land while this was in the charts, according to the BBC, is TRUE.

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Suffer, bitches.

Bryan Adams- Everything I Do

There's a truly repugnant array of shit on display over at the Impostume right now, so nauseating that not even this can trump it, but only equal it in the sense that once something gets this bad, it's inconceivable that anything could be worse. And this song has a particularly personal vomit value for both the Impostume and myself, since it was number 1, and thus played on the radio several times during the working day, in that dark time when the pair of us were reduced to working in a stinking turkey factory, the sole content of our 8 hour day's work consisting of grabbing turkeys off a swiftly moving conveyor belt and stuffing their legs up their bleeding, shitty arses. This is all completely true. Carl, this one's dedicated to you mate. Things could only get better, and (apologies for smugness) they have.

Gordon “people skills” Brown strikes again, presenting us with another political riddle to challenge popular conceptions of left and right.

It’s been said before that it takes a supposedly “patriotic” Tory government to get away with introducing radical, anti-nationalistic measures such as Ted Heath taking Britain into the then EEC, whilst it takes a supposedly “liberal” Labour government to get away with imposing truly draconian law and order policies. However, the latest eruption of pomposity and prima donna antics from Westminster takes us into new territory. The resignation of Tory frontbencher David Davis (great Catch-22 style name! Wish my parents had been so imaginative!) as an MP over Labour’s plans to extend detention without charging is unprecedented, and surely the fact that not only the Conservatives but also the BNP are now baulking at Labour’s authoritarianism must also be a first.

What happens next could be interesting. Labour may even benefit, since if nobody stands against David Davis in his bid to regain his embarrassingly safe Tory seat – and why should they bother demeaning themselves by taking part in such a preposterous publicity stunt and foregone conclusion? – he (and his party, who are backing him) will look even sillier than he does already. Maybe with a name like that he’s beyond caring.

WARNING: contains links to videos depicting individuals even more sinister than the idea of being smiled at by Gordon Brown. Vomit bags at the ready!

Now, more than ever, we are in need of this man. James Randi has been ferociously and rather stylishly ripping to shreds all kinds of quacks, astrologers, spoon-benders, homeopaths, mediums and religious nutters since the 1960s. He has had some successes, for example exposing as liars and destroying the careers of faith healer Peter Popoff and psychic jailbird James Hydrick. Uri Geller is just about hanging on by the skin of his teeth, but has now been reduced to referring to himself as an “entertainer” rather than a possessor of supernatural powers. The James Randi Educational Foundation offers a million dollars to anyone who can prove, under controlled conditions, the existence of the paranormal. Needless to say, nobody in any of these multi-million dollar industries has yet managed to claim the cash.

In general, however, Randi has been a failure, if a very noble and laudable one. More than anything else, he has proven that people everywhere are mostly execrable fools who just believe what they want to believe. Who gives a shit about evidence? There are clearly many ways around that. Incidentally Peter Popoff is making a comeback. And here, in the Czech Republic, which I’d always thought of as a supremely atheist country (another one in a long list of advantages over the demonically Catholic Poland), there’s evidence (for all that’s worth) of an influx of US style charismatic evangelism. Not in the sense of true charisma of course, but… just watch the video of these ridiculous cunts and then tell me, do you still think bin Laden’s really so bad?

Naturally things are much worse in Randi’s homeland, until recently also homeland of the mercifully now dead Jerry Falwell, still home to that family-values preacher who not long ago got caught with a male prostitute’s dick up his arse and a crack pipe in his mouth (or was it the other way round?). Not only is creationism now being taught in schools in some prohibitionist, sister-fucking redneck backwoods, but no less an institution than Yale University is now endorsing Integrative Medicine. Again, watch the video. What, I wonder, would a more fluid conception of evidence be like? What would it take to make it a little bit more watery? Large amounts of cash, perhaps? Too, too easy. Vulgar of me to mention it really.

Pity poor James Randi, who in the twilight of his life has to witness all of this. If one for a moment accepts the risible proposition that God is a wise, beneficent old man with a white beard, whose chief if not sole mission in this gargantuan, if not infinte universe, is the moral and spiritual advancement of the human race – and whose project has thus also clearly been an abject catastrophe – then…

Praise be to Randi.