Christ on a fucking bike. First Sean Penn, the man who objected to his portrayal by the makers of South Park on the grounds that it would "encourage irresponsibility that will ultimately lead to the disembowelment, mutilation, exploitation, and death of innocent people throughout the world". Not a pompous, humourless twat by any stretch of the imagination. Used to be an actor once, apparently.

Next Roger Waters, the brain behind that farcically whiny, inflated sack of wank "The Wall". Used to be in a half decent band once, back before Syd Barrett left. Now the ludicrous panto queen Morrissey. Words fail me here, they're all too painfully obvious. After all, it's difficult write about a cliché without writing in cliché.

Just so we're clear on this:

British imperialism = greed, exploitation, slavery, Amritsar massacre, Bloody Sunday, Thatcher, war crimes, lust for oil, Prince Harry is a Nazi, Prince William is Satan = BAD, VERY BAD.

Argentine imperialism = General Galtieri, torture, mass murder, dropping dissidents into the sea, funding the Contras, ultra nationalist populism, lust for oil, grab for land = GOOD, obviously.

Self-determination for the Falklanders? Fuck that, imperialist scum.