Hello sailors!

Ernst Röhm. Leading member of the Nazi party until the Night of the Long Knives, the last but not the first night of his life to involve penetration by long foreign objects.

Ted Haggard, former family values preacher and head of the National Association of Evangelicals until hit by an unfortunate scandal.

Jörg Haider, former Austrian far-right leader, pictured with his handsome, orange-tanned protégé.

Richard Littejohn, British journalist and purveyor of common sense.

I'm sure there's some kind of correlation between these individuals, but I'm damned if I can work out what it might be.