Aaahh, don't cry!

Yeah, bite it bitch!

I didn't want to write about the evil bastard while he was at the centre of attention of the whole of Europe and so obviously loving it, but now he's finally bitten the bullet and signed the bloody thing, and so will now be shuffling ignominiously off the European centre stage, I feel quite justified about sticking the knife in his back as he does so. This isn't because I'm particularly pro-European, if anything I feel quite Eurosceptic myself (for entirely different reasons than Klaus, I hasten to add). It's also not as if I've read the Lisbon treaty myself – how many people actually have? So I can't really say whether it's a good or bad thing, I suspect I'd disapprove but don't have the intellectual rigour, or perhaps more realistically, a sufficiently high boredom threshold to find out. I certainly disapprove of the way it was forced through, the British referendum wriggled around on a legal technicality, the Irish the only nation balloted, who after voting against it were made to vote again until they said yes.

But just as I feel the usual dismally familiar mixture of resignation and disgust at the low machinations above, this is a mere minor irritant compared to the acutely personal loathing and contempt I harbour in relation to the president's recent conduct. This human pile of dog shit is one itch I am just going to have to fucking scratch. The whole affair of his dragging out the inevitable was patently about his own ego gratification and fuck all else. If the Eurocrats were abject bad losers in their response to the Irish No vote, then Klaus trumped even them by his deplorably lame attempt to throw spanners in the works at the last moment, appealing on typically pedantic, nitpicking grounds, cheapened further by his grotesque attempt to parade himself as a drum-beating patriot. Some Czechs fell for it, but a great many simply wanted to fucking puke. He still isn't as unpopular as I'd like him to be here, but the more educated sections of the population are increasingly regarding him as an appalling embarrassment afflicting the nation, whilst he's long been reviled as a clownish figure throughout the rest of Europe.

And what did he actually achieve? Well, he did negotiate an opt-out of the Charter of Fundamental Rights (cheers Vašek! Fucking rights – who needs em?), but this is no more than those other European champions of humanitarianism Britain and Poland got. He's had his moment of posturing like a cunt on a European stage, but the game's pretty much up. No doubt he'll find all kinds of ingenious ways to make our toes curl with vicarious shame and pure, naked hate throughout the rest of his presidency, and unfortunately there's plenty of fucking time left to go. But the fact is, for all his transparently empty grandstanding on this issue, he's capitulated. Choke on it.

And on the same day the European Court of Human Rights ruled that it's illegal to display crucifixes in Italian schools, which is bound to have millions of superstitious, prancing mamma's boys apoplectic with their hilariously banal fulminations. The shitbags.

Maybe I should reconsider my Eurosceptic tendencies if the EU can be used as a tool both to humiliate Klaus and antagonise vapid papist hypocrites. Not a bad day, all in all.